Detachment & Timing
Each of us has a story. Each of us has a narrative timeline that interweaves through others from time to time but it is our own. My story is my story. The path my life takes past, present and future, is my path. My orbit around the sun. And each of us has our own orbit…our own path of travel…where we’ve been….where we are…where we will be. That is what we call Life. At times, my path crosses others and we travel together for a while. This nourishes us both. This encourages us both. This growth and encouragement may take on many forms…complementary or frictional, instructional or simply mutually sharing life together. Both positive and negative energies, or how we like to call “good or bad” types of relationships fall into this category for me every day. There are some that I love, some that I resist, but with each I have an opportunity to learn, grow and appreciate for their unique “thing” they bring to my life, my path. The universe has them in my life for a reason and it is my duty to discover that…without judgment and full of compassion.
Those I love, I find myself attached to deeply. Those I resist, I find myself wanting to fast forward to the part in my path where we aren’t really traveling together. Those I love, I find make my life easier, until our journey takes us in different directions. Those I resist, I find that our journey together makes life so difficult that I am forced to explore myself, my own shadow, my own demons. What is it in me that dislikes them so much? What am I projecting onto them? Truly, whatever it is in them that I dislike, is some part of me that I find it easier to project onto them than deal with in my own life. This is a psychological axiom and one that we would all do well to remember. These people are a blessing. I take it as a sign that the time is right for me to explore myself on a new level…and that they have been delivered to my path at this point to help me in doing so. It’s easier to love these relationships for the healing they are able to provide.
The relationships with those whom I love? Well…that’s just harder altogether. Attachment comes easily and detachment is painful. When our journey is done, we’re taught to blame. We’re taught to point fingers. We’re taught to look for a cause. We’re taught to affix some sense of guilt onto the other person. This, however, is where the real trap begins. Attaching guilt or blame to anyone else only traps ourselves. I promise…putting blame on them doesn’t cause them one night’s less sleep…it won’t teach them anything….it won’t harm them or help them one inch. It will, however, keep you attached to them. It will also cause unresolved feelings that will continue to gnaw at your spirit until you just let go. Let go. Choose to let go and choose to let them go.
The truth is that relationships are great mirrors into self. The ability to allow them to reflect, honestly, who you are, is difficult but rewarding.
Letting go is the hard part in good relationships, but doing so preserves it for the beautiful collaboration it was. Some relationships just aren’t meant to last forever. Some are truly only for a season. Those seasons come and go, but the ability to remember them fondly both for what they were and for what they continue to be as they live on in your own growth, is forever. Some of the most beautiful relationships I’ve ever had are long gone but they continue to affect my life today in more ways than I can count.
Every man and every woman is a star….in its own path….on its own journey…and from time to time we get the pleasure of relating to one another for a while. It’s a privilege and an honor to journey with you for whatever time we have together.